The Drooling MUST Come To An End

Seriously... the drooling. It began about a month ago. I started waking up with wet spots (no snickering!) on my pillow, then waking up in the middle of the night with my face in a puddle of drool. So much, in fact, that I actually had to turn my pillow over. And of course anyone who knows me knows that sometimes I sleep sitting up because it's easier to breathe. Gravity is a bitch. What happens then? The drool rolls down my chin and onto my chest. Example:

Well... some casual drooling is no big deal, right? Everybody gets their drool on now and then. However... excessive drooling is no laughing matter my friends, and that is what I seem to be up against. Why? How? Why me?!!!

I don't understand how one day you can be just the normal person walking down the street and the next day you're someone who needs to go to Drooler's Anonymous. Seriously, this is ridiculous. The other day I woke up from a doze on the couch to find that I had soaked through not only the fleece sweater I was wearing, but also the shirt underneath was glued to my chest and dried slobber was on my chin. Too sexy for words, I know.

Here is today's work of art:

Really?! What is going on here? Honestly... if anybody has any tips I would love to hear them. Maybe I should set up a collection tube from my mouth and start packaging the drool to sell on eBay. People will buy anything. I'll say it's Elvis spit and sell it for $50 a teaspoon. FML